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Numb to this dream sleeing within
1 min read
Mother mother can you hear me, I keep trying
Just to find me all i know now, all you show me,
Endless questions, hopeless ending
This bitter pill is pushing me away and now I feel
Like there's nothing left to say and i pretend to
Look the other way but in the end will I be okay,
Will I be okay?
......
I don't feel like sleeping and I haven't for a while now. I wonder when this will end. It seems that no matter how you try, relationships are hard and there's always something in the way. I just hope that everything will turn out ok in the end.
.....
Before I face another day, won't you let asleep,
Lost among the dreams that always comfort me
And before I find my feet, won't you show me
What I need, what I need to walk again
Just to find me all i know now, all you show me,
Endless questions, hopeless ending
This bitter pill is pushing me away and now I feel
Like there's nothing left to say and i pretend to
Look the other way but in the end will I be okay,
Will I be okay?
......
I don't feel like sleeping and I haven't for a while now. I wonder when this will end. It seems that no matter how you try, relationships are hard and there's always something in the way. I just hope that everything will turn out ok in the end.
.....
Before I face another day, won't you let asleep,
Lost among the dreams that always comfort me
And before I find my feet, won't you show me
What I need, what I need to walk again
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back...
1 min read
Just got back from L.A.
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Out of town...
1 min read
I'm leaving for San Diego tomorrow. I'll be gone for a week.
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And I don't need no carryin' on
4 min read
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
...
Yes I know the song is awful, but it pretty much sums up today.
So, 7:40 on my way to PE I come within literally, without ANY hyperbole an inch or two of rearending the car in front of me due to my own stupidity and slow reaction time after just waking up. It scared me to death!!! Oh my gosh I feel so stupid!!!! DX
Anways today in flight school we did steep touch and go's which is basically landing on the runway then immediately taking off. That also scared me to death. I'm not too sure anymore if I can fly a plane by myself.
On the bright side in our hangar there is this awesome mini-jet thing plane that recently appeared which is totally dripping in awesomeness, almost as much as the four Harriers we got to watch take and land the other day (how do they stay sychronized like that in windy Amarillo? the world may never know) and the Bell helicopter hangar which occasionally is open enough to see all the helicopter/planes(I'm not sure which they look so weird) inside which aren't as awesome as the jets but still pretty cool. It would be amazing to watch one take off, but sadly they do nothing but sit there whenever I'm at the airport.
But the good news is I finally got my SAT scores and I realized something completely life changing...I suck at life. Looking at collegboard.com and comparing my scores to those of accepted students, the ONLY university I consider a possiblity that all my scores were above the lowest average was Arizona University. Pitiful! Pathetic! Unacceptable!!! Of course I was comparing myself to Harvard, Stanford, and BYU, and I had taken the test while I was drugged up an exact week after surgery, but still!!!! My parents were giving me a hard time about it while trying to cheer me up. A bit of an oxymoron isn't it?
And this was all just in time for my ACT I'm taking tomorrow morning...I feel slightly depressed, disappointed, officially worried about college. Although this may be a chance to redeem my failure...I really hope I do well on this.
I am too easily swayed. Yesenia, my violin teacher, has convinced me to audition for all-state. Which is basically asking me to win the lottery. At the time I was thinking "what the heck I'll be a senior next year this is my last chance," but now that I've been working on the music I'm thinking "what the hell was I thinking? This music is impossible!" Out of two pieces I have officially made it through TWO WHOLE MEASURES without making a major error! WOOOOOH!
(no sarcasm intended I really am happy with my incredible progress! (once again no sarcasm intended it really is a miracle))
Over all, the highlight of my week so far has been Cassie, from orchestra, telling me "I'm molesting your car right now" while I was taking her home from our PE class(she lives on my way home so I just give her a ride since she had trouble getting one) I was so thankful to discover someone else I knew in the class! And I was overjoyed to find that that person was someone who was my friend and not someone I despised!
...
Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong
(yeah...)
So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
...
Yes I know the song is awful, but it pretty much sums up today.
So, 7:40 on my way to PE I come within literally, without ANY hyperbole an inch or two of rearending the car in front of me due to my own stupidity and slow reaction time after just waking up. It scared me to death!!! Oh my gosh I feel so stupid!!!! DX
Anways today in flight school we did steep touch and go's which is basically landing on the runway then immediately taking off. That also scared me to death. I'm not too sure anymore if I can fly a plane by myself.
On the bright side in our hangar there is this awesome mini-jet thing plane that recently appeared which is totally dripping in awesomeness, almost as much as the four Harriers we got to watch take and land the other day (how do they stay sychronized like that in windy Amarillo? the world may never know) and the Bell helicopter hangar which occasionally is open enough to see all the helicopter/planes(I'm not sure which they look so weird) inside which aren't as awesome as the jets but still pretty cool. It would be amazing to watch one take off, but sadly they do nothing but sit there whenever I'm at the airport.
But the good news is I finally got my SAT scores and I realized something completely life changing...I suck at life. Looking at collegboard.com and comparing my scores to those of accepted students, the ONLY university I consider a possiblity that all my scores were above the lowest average was Arizona University. Pitiful! Pathetic! Unacceptable!!! Of course I was comparing myself to Harvard, Stanford, and BYU, and I had taken the test while I was drugged up an exact week after surgery, but still!!!! My parents were giving me a hard time about it while trying to cheer me up. A bit of an oxymoron isn't it?
And this was all just in time for my ACT I'm taking tomorrow morning...I feel slightly depressed, disappointed, officially worried about college. Although this may be a chance to redeem my failure...I really hope I do well on this.
I am too easily swayed. Yesenia, my violin teacher, has convinced me to audition for all-state. Which is basically asking me to win the lottery. At the time I was thinking "what the heck I'll be a senior next year this is my last chance," but now that I've been working on the music I'm thinking "what the hell was I thinking? This music is impossible!" Out of two pieces I have officially made it through TWO WHOLE MEASURES without making a major error! WOOOOOH!
(no sarcasm intended I really am happy with my incredible progress! (once again no sarcasm intended it really is a miracle)) Over all, the highlight of my week so far has been Cassie, from orchestra, telling me "I'm molesting your car right now" while I was taking her home from our PE class(she lives on my way home so I just give her a ride since she had trouble getting one) I was so thankful to discover someone else I knew in the class! And I was overjoyed to find that that person was someone who was my friend and not someone I despised!
...
Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong
(yeah...)
So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
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That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.
All the little pieces falling, shatter.
Shards of me,
Too sharp to put back together.
Too small to matter,
...
We got back from Arizona a few hours ago.
...
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.
If I try to touch her,
And I bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe no more.
All the little pieces falling, shatter.
Shards of me,
Too sharp to put back together.
Too small to matter,
...
We got back from Arizona a few hours ago.
...
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.
If I try to touch her,
And I bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe no more.
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